Thursday, July 27, 2006
4:14 PM
I've built this wall around myself
i've distanced me from the crowd
I pushed away all the friends i could have
just for you.
I lied these lies to protect you
and now you say it was a mistake
I've become a loner
to get back on my feet i don't know what it'll take
you say you haven't lied,
its just elimination of the truth
its all the same to me
you know how much i love you
don't you care?
i guess i was wrong.
emotion can be decieving.
2:17 PM
haahaha. feeling happier today. despite French test and stressful e-learning although our class had rather little homework. well, excluding Chinese!
But! I had to study for French petit test! which in the end wasnt so bad although i think i pretty much screwed it up. Cos of the structure and stuff like that. sigh):
Im not sure if i want more e-learning days. I suppose i do, but in the long-run, my eyes will HURT after too long on the comp, and my degree will go higher until it's like SASHA'S!! (haha no offense dear) just saying.
i'm happy cos now the rest of my weekend is considerably free-er. English can't really be studied for unless you wanna read the dictionary(:
hahahaa.yeah. feel in better spirits today. well, tah tah cos i have nothing else t say!!
except:
To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness,
but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth
to hand it over to the one who pleases God.
This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Ecclesiastes 2:26
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
3:44 PM
hello all(: I finished the Bible code book today. I wonder if it's going to come true. All the "older, (supposedly) wiser" people have already dismissed it as crap, and 'they've been saying that for so long!'Its the end of the world im talking about.
The secret code (part fact, part fiction) says that on Av 9, 5766 on the Jewish calendar, (Aug 3, 2006) an atomic bomb will be dropped on Jerusalem. Thats the code-in-tje-Bible part. Then it talks about country leaders plotting t put the bomb there. And Iraq was one of the countries, and China, who had a grudge against the USA cos of the past and cos USA was supporting Israel. So far, the Israel vs Iraq part is confirmed fact. Who knows what else might be true? I mean the book was written in 1998!
But then, it could just be coincidence. Only 3 words are confirmed. Israel vs Iraq.
ahh..
i'm quite confused about it. Wondering whether to listen to the "elders" or be naive? Is it being naive? hmm..
In bible study we've been talking about the end of the world. The rapture and how MY BRACES WOULD BE LEFT BEHIND(: and more serious stuff. Today we also talked about heaven.. rachel imagines white fluffy clouds t bounce on, and i think Danitza said something about "marshmallow" and "sun"? I'm afraid t connect it(: (: haha
There's lots we cant understand, yeah? Its frustrating sometimes, so i MUST remember t pray and ask for wisdom and understanding from God. But i'm growing in Him, closer to Him, and that's a great help. I'm learning to turn to Him for little things like Humans Quiz and Chinese Talentime. He's honoured my requests more than twice.
I'm thankful.
And i know He's there for me always. I can feel Him with me whenever. Its something i've come to love and i don't know what i'd do if i couldn't feel Him always by my side.
So, i thank God again and again.
Still thinking about the bombing. i guess we'll know soon. Next week. Exactly one week.
God is good.
you filthy liar.
what do you tell your friends?
nothing. everything.
all but the truth.
behind the facade
what is there?
more lies ?
or someone you're proud of?
The friends you know
you love so much
So why do you lie
and hide behind
your stupid pretense?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
3:31 PM
oohh..no post for so long yeah? And you thought i was getting better!! ahahaha! fooled ya! (unintentionally, so does it count?) hahah. okay never mind. i'm feeling totally lame now and yeah, pretty bored too. Its so sad. I almost changed my blogskin yesterday, but i had t go before i perfected it, and now i cant find where i saved it. I seriously combed the whole comp. sigh. i have t go redo the whole thing again!! ugh):
Esther's weird. that day she asked me if i asked anyone in church t link me, and then i said, no,why? and she started laughing weirdly and said never mind. and i STILL dont know why!!
we've changed place. so now i'm sitting next t perlin! haha. i can always ask her about math cos shes like so pro at it!! She got 29 for yesterdays test la!! pro-ded person! okay, that looks weird in writing.
hah. im not feeling myself tday. i feel DIFFERENT. like another person altogether!! its quite cool. I hope this other person is better at French!! hahaha
sighs. im off now to attempt t change my skin AGAIN. if its still the same, then you know what happened!
lalala!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
4:21 PM
CONGRATULATIONS to the lovely 2CO performers who did so well today!! 1st!! WOW(: you guys rock, la! haha.
sigh. i need a new blogskin. But i havent found any that i really like. Im like running out of things to search for and the lists are so LONG. sigh. why cant i find nice blogskins??!! WHY?!?! sigh.
pouffe. i should be doing MATH now. or FRENCH. i'm supposed t study on mon, wed, thu. But i really cant be bothered to!! aiyah... sigh.
okay..i shall go off now..and be a good girl(:
<br>
its over. No questions asked.
what can i ask anyway?
Monday, July 17, 2006
1:37 PM
My Glorious
The world's shaking with the love of God
Great and glorious, let the whole Earth sing
And all you ever do is change the old from new
People we believe that...
(Chorus)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious!
Clouds are breaking, heaven's come to earth
Hearts awakening let the church bells ring
And all you ever do is change the old to new
People we believe that...
(Chorus)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious! (9x)
My Glorious! (8x)
God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious! (20x)
i think this is such a beautiful song. Maybe i shouldn't have put the whole thing cos its kind of long, but oh well. Its really nice(: Go listen to it if you can. Somehow! (:
Sunday, July 16, 2006
7:28 AM
GOD is SO AMAZING. I just can't get over it. Well, yes, i guess we aren't designed to comprehend. But STILL.
Yesterday both my cell leader and the preacher spoke on David facing Goliath. And how he OVERCAME. yes, i think that's something i need to do. And have FAITH. try not to plan out everything, but let my father in heaven do that for me.
You know that song, it goes, "pray, pray for the people on your heart...I believe that if I seek you I can touch the people on your heart." Yes, well that's what I need to do. SEEK HIM.
i think yesterday was a Defining Moment for me.
I learnt so much. and i'm excited about God!! Pastor Inban(my uncle) will be proud of me. He spoke about that in his seminar which i attended yesterday.
I think my first step right now will be to overcome all the Goliaths in my life. I can think of so many offhand. And that includes studying, so i'm off to Geog now!(:
YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH to all you Goliaths out there. I've got the Lord almighty on my side. What use are your sword, spear and javelin?
Giants exist to fall,
demons come for target practice.
i am YOUR
overcomer.
YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Monday, July 10, 2006
2:11 PM
I had a dream last night. I dom't know if it was from the Lord, or just another silly fream that i have occassionally. In my dream, there was a um..nerdy-looking teacher standing at a blackboard-like the one in cartoons(green)-and on one side there were alot of equations, on the other, full chunks of words that looked like...whoa. And then the teacher was like, this is physics, and she pointed to the side with equations, and then she pointed to the other side and said, this is biology, and then she pointed to me and said, you, take the physics test, and i was so NERVOUS. then she pointed again and said no, biology. and i felt so relieved and happy! SO could this be a sign to take bio next year??
sighhhh. i need confirmation.
i have been slacking today cos im busy being happy that today is over- sci, lit, poetry bang.
and i'm so happy cos ITALY WON! before you throw stones at me, i agree its cos of Zidane being sent off, and maybe France should have won. But WHATEVER, i still support ITALY. (:
the Lord has given me this love for you, His compassion. But the doors i'm knocking at really seem to be closed. How much truth is there in those fictitious lines? I'm praying that they'll be opened, but please, don't make me wait that long. What else can i do? I'm praying for wisdom.
Teach me the way, oh Lord.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
6:11 AM
4 years...4 YEARS. time flew. yet i still miss the old days.
sigh.
yes, im drifting away. going through something difficult. I know you're with me, but i can't feel your presence.
"i will never leave you or forsake you"
there's no service today.
im dead.
Monday, July 03, 2006
7:23 AM
hahahahah!! i haven't posted for SOOOOOOOO long(: but everythings pretty much the same now as then(: school has started though and thus there is added sadness to my life, but otherwise i actually feel quite happy! i'm going to watch Les Choristes tonight and see Tammie's beloved jBM! hahaha. Tammie must feel jealous?
haha. i watched High school musical last night finally(: it was quite nice la! my cousin's wife was watching with me and she was hiding the remote cos she didn't want my THREE RESTLESS NEPHEWS to change the channel! haha. she's quite fun la(: and she's like 3o plus and she already has 4 kids(: and she works!! she's so PRO!! ahahahah!
siiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.. anyway, i dont really know what to say cos everything has been pretty routine since SCHOOL started): so its basically, wake up, eat, go to school, eat, end school, eat, stay back for something or the other, go home, do homework, slack for an hour or so, and then sleep(: hhahah. sigh. okay then.
pfft..
i'm really sorry
i don't know whats happening
can this really be the truth?
sorry, and sorry again
have you ever felt like your insides are burning?
SORRY. SORRY. SORRY. I'M SORRY LORD,
I'M SORRY TO ANYONE I'VE HURT
I'M SORRY TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN